May 2013
paradisekissmyass:
“You’re a lesbian because your dad abused/didn’t love you”
“You’re a lesbian because you scared of men”
“you’re gay because you were too close to your mum”
“You’re not gay you jsut havent met the right boy/girl”
“You’re __ because-“
Best thing I've read on tumblr.
Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor: So, you believe in GOD?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD good?
Student : Sure.
Professor: Is GOD all powerful?
Student : Yes.
Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?
(Student was silent.)
Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?
Student : Yes.
Professor: Is satan good?
Student : No.
Professor: Where does satan come from?
Student : From … GOD …
Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student : Yes.
Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes
Professor: So who created evil ?
(Student did not answer.)
Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor: So, who created them ?
(Student had no answer.)
Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?
Student : No , sir.
Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smell your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.
Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Professor: Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
Professor: Yes.
Student : No, sir. There isn’t.
(The lecture theatre became very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)
Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?
Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)
Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
(The class was in uproar.)
Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
(The class broke out into laughter.)
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.
Student : That is it sir… Exactly ! The link between man and GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.
That student was Albert Einstein.
simoncowell:
niallhoran:
louistomlinson:
zaynmalik:
liampayne:
harrystyles:
baby
you
light
up
my
god shut up u lil shits
The internet is so convenient
tebbie:
crimson-firecat:
senorbumface:
seetosee:
what the fuck should I make for dinner
what the fuck should I listen to now
what the fuck should I do today
what the fuck should I do with my life
where the fuck should I go for drinks
what’s the fucking weather
Wow. That sure is fucking convenient.
Well holy fuck.
Internet, you’re the bestest.
all-misty-eyed:
free-batch-lover:
...
Reblog if you can properly pronounce...
itsaphantasy:
boygrimlark:
scout-ebubbles:
docot:
freddybenson:
leovaldezstyle:
freddybenson:
A
B
C
the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours
D
E
F
jinn0uchi:
dendropsyche:
OKAY so i just saw the most ridiculous thing at the store today
so we come across this thing
and we discover you can turn it inside out and
ITS HELLO KITTY I’M
HSE’S EVEN GOT HER OWN LITTLE CHICKEN DRUMSTICK IM SO DONE
why the fuck
princeowl:
princeowl:
can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like sushi bars i could really use some fish right now fish right now fish right now
this post would have been a hit in 2010
shannananan:
mercimonamie:
i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once.
oh my god you managed to one up john green.
fancyladyindeed:
fandomblogger:
doctordonna10:
danglingthpider:
castielsunderpants:
phoenixgryffin:
drjohnhwatson:
thequeenofvillainy:
You know what’s creepy about Humpty Dumpty?
They never said he was an egg.
all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again BECAUSE HIS BLOOD WAS GUSHING OUT OF HIS CRACKED SKULL
SOMEONE PLEASE...
andthentheresallthisshit:
deadgomery:
theprinceswilly:
nosferpatbu:
I just saw this picture of Shrek
And I’m laughing because it’s as if I’m about to give him a blowjob
Tears are coming out of my eyes
NO NO NO NO NO
“That’ll do, Donkey. That’ll do.”
OH MY GOD IT GOT BETTER/WORSE
Reblog if you're a girl that likes any of the...
gallifreyan-pizza:
X-Men
Avengers (that includes any of the individual characters movies)
Batman
Star Trek
Star Wars
And pretty much anything that’s action or targeted to guys
A guy friend of mine today said it was weird that my friend had all the X-Men movies because she was a girl. Needless to say we almost threw him out of the car. So I would like to prove to him that just because we...
GUYSGUYSGUYSTHIS IS HUGE FOR ME PLEASE
forgottenwinterfrost:
MY MOM SAID IF THIS GETS 500,000 NOTES SHE WILL FINALLY CALL ME “KHYLE” AND REFER TO ME AS HER SON PLEASE THIS IS A HUGE STEP FOR ME AND HER
are we gonna ignore that the 3 fandoms have a...
gepardikinonkissa:
lolsofunny:
I’m sorry but
my-name-is-hilarious:
theyahoostaff:
yourfriendthecrow:
I don’t know bout y’all, but the Yahoo staff are fucking HILARIOUS
We are not fucking HILARIOUS
HILARIOUS COME HERE AND TELL THEM THAT WE ARE NOT FUCKING
theyahoostaff and i are just friends gOD
not-enough-fandom:
antisociallysplendid:
memyselfandhate:
iamonlydorb:
sucysucyfivedolla:
the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg
oh no I’m not falling for this one again
what
again?
gatzzby:
hannahsneakers:
why don’t they have big hyped up award shows for books
i mean
best male/female character
best antagonist
best plot development
best plot twist
come on
#book you threw across the room the hardest
What I think when kids in my class read
That’s a PERIOD, NOT A COMMA
That’s a COMMA, NOT A PERIOD
Why the hell can’t you pronounce that word?
THE TEACHER JUST CORRECTED YOU WHY’D YOU GET IT WRONG AGAIN?!?!?!
Can I sleep?
If you can’t read, why’d you raise your hand?
You can’t pronounce THAT word?
WHAT THE HELL
The fuck you like long ass paragraphs for
My skin’s crawling
Oh god not him, his voice sounds like a dying nail on a...
whimsicalspecks:
akitron:
buttlarious:
tumblr is boring today better go check tumblr
#I literally get bored and close tumblr only to reopen tumblr
